I apologize for being absent for a few days. We had a death in the family. I won’t get into details, but it was a suicide. I wanted to take a moment to share the importance of letting those around you know that you care about them. It’s important to let family and friends know that you will be there to talk to if needed without judgment.
The beautiful thing about being you is that there is only one you in the entire universe! This should be celebrated to the fullest, because you are different and unique. We all get down on ourselves at one point or another and compare ourselves to others. It’s human nature, however, what we need to remember is that we are who we are, and that’s so special. If we want to change for whatever reason, it should only be because we want to change, not for anyone else. I think Katie Perry’s new song “Firework” sends a great message about being yourself and how special that is.
I never realized all of the emotions that encompass you after a suicide. I instantly felt sadness mixed with disbelief when I first heard the news. After that I felt confusion and couldn’t stop asking “why.” Why did this happen? Why didn’t we see the signs? Why didn’t they reach out for help? Then the guilt set in. Why didn’t I do a better job of letting it be known that I would have been there to talk to? I felt as though I failed in the worst kind of way. I should have paid closer attention, and if I had, I probably would have been able to stop it. I heard that anger is one of the steps to grieving a suicide, but I have not felt that, not yet at least. I’m not angry at what happened, but I’m still very sad and shocked. It sometimes doesn’t seem real, but then I quickly realize that it unfortunately is.
I want to say that if you ever feel depressed about anything to the point that you question your worth or even think of ending it all, please reach out. Your friends an family will be there for you, I promise. I was told by the Suicide Advocates, that suicide is the permanent solution to a temporary problem. It’s so true. No problem should result in suicide, ever. Your life is too valuable to even think that this is an option. You are special, we all are. There is only one you and that is something to be proud of. I understand that you might feel embarrassed or silly talking to someone, but it’s better to be embarrassed for a minute, than to be gone forever. Your loved ones would much rather you come to them to chat than to live with the guilt and sadness that suicide brings.
Suicide is not the answer. Please remember that. If you suspect someone is depressed and possibly contemplating suicide, please just let them know that you love them and that you are there to talk to. This way they know that you are a safe person. I appreciate you allowing me the chance to get a lot off my chest. I needed that.